Greetings friends,
Lately I've been contemplating many of the ways our modern western culture (and the individualistic values it espouses) turns otherwise earnest spiritual pursuits into yet more projects of ego-gratification. One such example is the epidemic of toxic positivity culture in modern spiritual and self-help circles, which I recorded a podcast episode about earlier this week.
Another deeply embedded program in our collective, success-oriented culture is the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) pressure most of us feel to "make something of our lives." Some obvious examples of this conditioning are our culture's obsessions with wealth, fame, social status and career achievement. It doesn't take much contemplation into the nature of our minds to realize that these pursuits ultimately don't deliver on the promise of lasting human fulfillment that they seem to promise.
But there is a sneakier, more pernicious version of this pressure that can infiltrate the psyches of even the most sincere spiritual seekers, working so hard to transcend our ego-based desires. This comes in the form of the desire to "live your soul's unique purpose." The ego's deep desire to feel special, which is itself derived from a false sense of a separate self (a topic for another time), is co-opted into the seemingly spiritual project of "living your unique dharma" / "sharing your unique gifts with the world" / "being of service" / [insert secretly narcissistic concept of whatever it is you are cosmically destined for].
Now, before we throw the baby out with the bathwater, let me say that there is a lot of credence to the idea of dharma, and on one level it is true that we are all here to serve a unique purpose. The problem, however, arises when we try to figure out what that is by intellectually analyzing what we think we should be doing, or pathologically thinking that only things that "~feel good in my body~" are worth investing our precious time and energy in.
The only way we can actually live our purpose is if we are treating said purpose as a fresh, ever-changing, alive quality of this present moment. This way of being, by definition, requires that we drop any and all conceptual or emotional attachments to defining our purpose, which is an understandable but ultimately futile way for the ego to try to assert control in an inherently unknowable and ever-evolving universe. When we try to understand and "commit" to our soul's purpose as a career, concept or set of values we can adhere to, we often do so out of the same societally conditioned pressure to "make something out of our lives" that drives other "less enlightened" people to ravenously seek millions of dollars or career accolades. It may seem more spiritual to apply that pressure to "living in alignment with our dharma," but ultimately it's still derived from the same primordial fear that we're not worthy to simply exist.
It reminds me of a beautiful directive developed by the brilliant 18th century German philosopher Immanuel Kant, who asserted that we should always strive to treat peoples as ends in and of themselves, rather than means to some other end. In other words, we should treat people as a whole experience to be enjoyed, rather than using them to get something that we want.
Certainly if this is true for how we want to treat others, it's true for how we want to treat ourselves too. But when we secretly believe that our lives will have been a waste if we didn't use our "self" (our body, mind and inner and outer environment) to live our soul's purpose, then we are precisely treating ourselves as a means to and end, rather than the beautiful miracle of existence that we are. In doing so, we objectify ourselves as something that must be developed, molded and crafted to produce a result in the world to justify its existence. This creates pervasive self-loathing, even in the most outwardly spiritual or "self-loving" people.
It is more accurate to say that the journey of human evolution is a revealing of perfection, rather than a developing of it.
So what's the way out of this? Are we to simply allow ourselves to exist, with no striving to become better or grow in any way? My answer to that question, intellectually, is yes. Because something really interesting happens when a human being is given space and loving awareness to simply exist: it is our very nature as conscious agents of nature to evolve, to grow towards ever increasing sophistication. When the pressure to "be someone" is removed and we can taste the sweetness and inherent dignity of simply being, we naturally begin experiencing desires that, if we follow them innocently and for the joy of doing so (rather than for an expected result), lead us to become the very people we were meant to be.
This is how to truly live your purpose: stop worrying about it completely and learn to exist with a sense of bliss and self-respect that are independent of how "productive" your idea of yourself is. Innocently and sweetly, you will begin to hear the desires of your soul, and if you follow them, then at the end of your life you will be able to look back and see a deeply purposeful life behind you. Of course, if you're truly living purposefully, you will probably have little interest in looking back, because you will know by then that "purpose" is found in the every dynamic here and now. Let others write your biography.
If you'd like to hear more thoughts on this subject, you can find them in the latest episode of my podcast, The Sacred Giggle. If you enjoy the show, consider subscribing and leaving a 5 star review so more people can discover it organically.
Talk soon,
ShiShi
PS: my album is almost done ; )
Finding Your Soul's Purpose Is Not Necessary.
